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BASS PLAYER JOKES

  1. How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. The piano player can do it with his left hand.

  2. How do you get a bass player off your doorstep?
    Pay for the pizza.

  3. How many country bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One, five, one, five, one, five ...

  4. A guitarist comes to the doctor and complains about a serious deterioriation of his memory. He especially has a hard time remembering correct changes and is afraid to lose all his gigs. Since the doctor can't find the cause, he asks the guitar player to leave behind his brain for a week in his lab for more detailed examinations.
    After seven days, the guitarist fails to show up, and even after 2 more weeks there's no sign of him.
    Finally the doctor runs into him on the street, grabs him and asks: "Excuse me, but your brain is still waiting for you to stop by and pick it up, so why don't you show up?"
    The guitar player answers: "Well, I think you can keep it; I just switched to bass..."

  5. A tour manager comes across the guitarist and bass player fighting at the side of the stage and pulls them apart asking what the problem was.
    "That bastard detuned one of the strings on my bass", says the bass player, "And we're on stage in five minutes."
    "So: what's the problem?", asks the tour manager. "He won't tell me which string it was he detuned", says the Bassist.

  6. A man goes to an exotic tropical island for a vacation. As the boat nears the island, he notices the constant sound of drumming coming from the island. As he gets off the boat, he asks the first native he sees how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says: "very bad when the drumming stops!"
    At the end of the day, the drumming is still going and the man is starting to get really nervous. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been reminded of something very unpleasant: "very, very bad when the drumming stops!" he says, and immediately hurries off.
    After a couple of days with very little sleep, our traveller is finally fed up, he grabs the nearest native, slams him up against a tree, and shouts: "What the hell happens when the drumming stops???" - "Bass solo comes..."

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